Oh no.. Not the Doctor
Alright! So, I’m usually NOT ok with the idea of some stranger sticking anything in me (ok so I might have to rephrase that). What a way to start a blog entry, huh? What I meant to say was I do not like getting vaccinated. I’m not entirely at ease with needles but, when the time calls for it, I usually take it like a constipated man!
I had to mentally prepare myself for this challenge because it was not just one, or two, or three needles I had to worry about; they were 6 different vaccines (and some require booster shots so it makes them x2). I had to take a Yellow Fever shot (x1), Hep A&B (x2), Typhoid (x2), Tetanus (x2), Cholera (x1 I think) and Polio (which I think I already got). So that is a total of about NINE SHOTS! FUN, right?
Life has taught me several lessons. No matter who you are, never ever piss off the person that serves your food. Another lesson I sort of grabbed on the go was to be EXTRA nice to the ugly hairy almost manly nurse that is about to stick a sharp object into you. Just in case you have not dealt with Egyptian nurses, I was being extra sweet and sugar coaty.
My story starts here! I reached the vaccination office quite easily. I found a parking spot just as easily, too, and the queue was not long, almost empty actually! It was just perfect! Yeah I know it sounds like I was not Egypt, right? So I casually walk in to the “Africa Department” to get the shots related to Africa. There, I see a sweet lady reading the papers and another veiled grouchy looking wrinkly-faced lady staring into my soul! I gulped and thought to myself, how bad can this be? Naturally I went to the sweet lady, and before I said anything, without even raising her head, she pointed to the doctor. You can guess which one that was.
I casually told her what I wanted and then I heard the shock of my life. It wasn’t what she said that bothered me, it was how she said it! She opened her mouth to talk and she sounded like a man! Not just any man, and I’m not kidding or exaggerating here but “she” sounded like the Lebanese singer George Wassouf! If you don’t know who he is or heard him before, good luck! She was quite helpful actually, but she was also scary looking and sounded possessed! She said that they do not have any of the vaccines I asked for, except for Yellow Fever and Meningitis. She then ordered the sweet looking lady on her right to have me vaccinated for both.
I had to check my list like 6 times. I know Meningitis was not in my list, and I did not want to be the world’s life sized voodoo doll. So, respectfully, I said Meningitis is not on my list, and I think that’s when time stopped moving! She raised her head up at me, and explained how Meningitis can kill a human being in less than 24 hours. See, that would have been normal for a doctor to explain, but you have to imagine a grouchy looking, wrinkly-faced lady that sounds like George Wassouf explaining it. Add some thunder sounds in the background and you can star in your very own horror movie! Needless to say, I could not refuse taking the extra shot from Frankenstein’s heir.
It’s shot time! A third lady nurse, I’m not even going to begin to describe her, with 3 eerie looking metal boxes walked into the room. I tried not to look but couldn’t help it when she called out my name. I walked up to her, and I think she was smiling. She commented on how her son and I shared the same name. I thought it was comforting until I saw her clench her fist! I was kind of confused as to what should I react to, that statement or her body language. Before I said anything, she asked me to turn around and not look. That never sounds good in any context! She then gave me both shots in the back of my arm. To my surprise I did not feel a thing! When it comes to getting shots I must say and admit she had the softest hands I’ve been around.
I got my shots, yes I didn’t get all the shots I wanted and I got out with an extra shot, but at the end of the day safety comes first! Sounds anti climactic, what did you expect? A Wes Craven story? This is real life buddy, and it was good day!