Past few weeks were really eventful, I didn’t have time to sit and think let alone write my blog. I got back from the vaccination office 2 days ago. I was all feeling drained out and drowsy. I don’t know if you remember but I was supposed to take a total of 9 shots (please refer to Oh No! Not the doctor before reading this post).. My initial estimate of shots was rounded up to a total of 9 shots (including booster shots). To say the least, I was very sadly mistaken!
Saturday, I naively woke up mentally prepared to get vaccinated with the four shots I had estimated. I’ve been preparing myself for this day for the previous two days. The first two shots passed like a breeze, how bad can an extra two shots be, right?
I had heard that some of the shots I was about to take will make me feel woozy, and might cause some reaction, such as fever or worse. I called my good friend, John Antonios, for support and just in case the worst does happen someone I know and trust can take care of me. And besides, having a familiar face around while I allow a perfect stranger to stick needles in me is always good for moral support, at least that was what I initially thought, but, I was wrong… Having John wasn’t exactly the best idea in the world. See John is a great guy and all, but at a moment of pain you need a friend that would support you and not make fun of you. And, if you have the option choose a friend that does not have a camera and is NOT an avid tweeter!
Moving on… We reached the vaccination center relatively fast. Found an awesome parking spot in the busiest street in the busiest side of town, Mohandessin. To me just the idea of going to God forsaken Mohandessin is enough to ruin any good mood. I am convinced that nothing good ever comes out of that area! To the people living there, no offence, but you know what I’m talking about! Anyways, back to my story, we reached the doc’s office at the vaccination center, and I started explaining to her what I needed. Brace yourself because it is going to sound like an order form McDonald’s. I needed, Hep A & B (one shot), Tetanus, Typhoid, Cholera, and finally Polio (which I didn’t really need because I have already taken it as a kid, but the list had it, so I had to say it). So that’s four simple shots, right? Nope!
The doc then looked at me, and I know she didn’t say it, but the look on her face said “Ha-ha you poor soul, you are going to get screwed”, but what she actually said was “We don’t have Hep A & B in one shot, you are going to have to two different shots”. Before I could even sugar coat that horrible piece of news, she then said with an envious grin “And you need to take that Polio shot too”! I tried to smile, but couldn’t find my bottom jaw because it was on the floor! I had to add 4and 2 so many times, because I didn’t really grasp the idea of having to take SIX FREAKIN SHOTS in my head. John helped out in easing the pain and the news by laughing hysterically! He got his iphone out and pointed it right at me!
My head still couldn’t wrap itself around having to take six shots, until I saw the nurse prepare those SIX shots right in front of my very eyes. I don’t think she was a nurse, I think she was a more of a mechanic or a butcher that decided to get into nursing. Those hands were BRUTAL! I think she only stopped pushing the needle in until she felt the bone! I started to sweat.. John started to take pictures, tweet and annoy the mechanic, I mean nurse. She then uttered two really horrible words.. “Look away”! I couldn’t, but I had to.
The first shot went in smooth. The second went in not so smooth. The third shot felt like it was spending the night! The nurse then said, “your other arm please”. I just looked at her, I can’t really explain the look on my face, because it was a very vivid combination of a 10 year old kid coming back from school to find that his dog just died, and a gangster raising his weapon in pure fury! I asked if I could take all six shots in one arm. She smirked and said no, John fell because he couldn’t stand straight anymore, and I just… well… cried!
She was also really comforting. She said “the first three shots are going to hurt later. The next three shots are going to hurt NOW”. Its like she had it all planned out! The first, oh sorry, I meant fourth shot went in with a nasty sting. The fifth shot went in ordered some drinks, got wasted, got into a bar fight, picked a hooker, finished its business and went out. Needless to say it hurt! I really didn’t feel like having another one, but I had to, I didn’t feel like driving to freaking Mohandessin again either! God I hate Mohandessin! Nurse then asked “ok, are you ready for the last one, because this is going to hurt the most”! I’m not sure, but I think the people passing by started to make bets on whether or not I was going to start tearing. Took the news like a man, sort of, and just waved a “give it to me” gesture. She wasn’t kidding! That last shot REALLY hurt!
I went to the head doctor, to get my certificate, and she laid the news on me! She said “we’ll be seeing in a month for the booster shots” with a nice cute smile. And here is what I didn’t know. Hep A & B are divided into three shots each, I don’t remember what the other two were, but they have one more booster shot each. So that is a total of six more shots to go! So far I’ve taken EIGHT shots (one I didn’t need but took out fear of being abducted by Frankenstein’s heir) and I still have to take the booster shots. That’s a total of FOURTEEN SHOTS!! WHYY?
Side Thought – I hope they don’t read this blog before i return to them for those booster shots!!!